This Happened to Me | Satire
An Unsplash Photo Got Me Sued in April for $56,891
I’m still having a tough time processing it all.
Unsplash has been on my radar for a long time, long before what it is today. I‘ve downloaded and used hundreds of photos from the site, including for use on Medium. I still can’t believe this happened to me.
Last Monday I’d finished typing up my story for the day.
By this time, I’ve become accustomed to writing and then letting things simmer till the morning. The morning ritual was to wake up, read the prior day’s writings, polish them up and publish if they were ready to go.
If not, I would let them simmer some more.
That afternoon I had wrapped up early. Elon was on the short-list for potential story candidates. My eyes were hurting, and my stomach was growling so I shut the laptop, stood up from the couch and started walking over to the kitchen.
As I’m getting to the fridge, I hear three knocks on the door.
I get a lot of deliveries, so I’m used to it. Looking through the peephole though, this didn’t look like a regular delivery guy. With a pinch of skepticism, I slid my door chain on and cracked the door open, “can I help you,” I asked.
“Are you James Perez?”
“I am.”
“Here you go.”
Before I could slam the door shut, he slipped an envelope right onto my floor and sprung off. Frustrated, I closed the door and grabbed the legal-sized manilla envelope off the ground.
ATTN: JAMES PEREZ
IMPORTANT NOTICE
TIME SENSITIVE MATERIAL
DO NOT DISCARD
APRIL 4, 2022
“Fuck,” I told myself. “This doesn’t look good.” Nothing good comes in the mail and the worst things get dropped off by courier. I had an uneasy feeling about this. I grumbled back over to the kitchen counter, envelope in hand.
My anxiety was already racing so I popped open a beer and set it next to the envelope. I stood there looking at it, building up the courage to…
