Like so many other Mediumites — why do they call us that anyway, it’s like we’re the termites of the Kingdom of Medium — I read Tim Denning’s article dubbed “Ten Habits of Smart People That Get All the Best Money-Making Opportunities in Life”. Unbeknownst to me, I already had every single one of these habits in a dusty box labeled with masking tape & colored pencils called James’ Success War-Chest. I also found a Deadpool toy inside and put it next to my laptop. Here’s the story of what happened.
March 1st I woke up, poured coffee, turned on my personal desktop and powered up my work laptop. Of course, because we’re so addicted to everything that has a screen these days, I opened up Medium. It wasn’t the first screen I looked at, that was the Microwave timer. Tim’s article was the first thing that popped up under “Recommended Reading”, it always is. And impulsively I clicked his latest article “Ten Habits of Smart People That Get All the Best Money-Making Opportunities in Life” since sometimes I’m smart but I clearly don’t get all the best money-making opportunities in life.
As I started reading through something strange started happening. I could feel the caffeine flowing through my veins, the lights in my living room started glowing brightly, the morning sun started beaming through my shaded floor-to-ceiling windows — I felt a wave of energy hit me like Snowpiercer pummeling through shitty box office earnings. Fatboy Slim’s “Rockafeller Skank” started playing on it’s own in the Spotify tab I’d left open, cash registers started ringing in my ear — I could smell the burn of electricity from the overheating money printer I was about to turn on.
This was the gold rush I’d been after for so long. I bit into the gold pendant on childhood chain just to get used to the feeling of authenticating gold coins. I ‘d reached — illumination. I, James Perez, had found, my calling. I was going to become, the world’s first Medium Trillionaire. Elon Musk himself was going to invite me over for lunch just to talk about monetizing Medium Stories.
Gurwinder Bhogal, Seth Godin, Lamar CX, Mark Manson, Tim Ferris, Dan Go and Aaron Will all gave 100,000x TED Talks in the story. It was Grant Cardone on steroids. I’ve never felt more powerful.
Immediately afterwards I started writing, and writing, and writing, and writing, and writing, and writing, and writing, and writing, and writing, and writing, and writing. And when I thought I couldn’t write anymore, I wrote some more. I wrote so much that by the time 11:00PM came by I forgot Russia had invaded Ukraine. I was exhausted.
The next day I woke up and had Medium earnings of, you guessed it $1,367,889.68. I’d post a screenshot but haters would say it’s photoshopped. Here’s one anyway. Thanks Tim!